Everything I Avo Wanted
Emily discovers something incredibly exciting at the end of her garden...
They say money doesn't grow on trees - and I used to believe them. That was until I discovered the millennial equivalent of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ...
An avocado tree in my West London garden. Yes, you heard me, an actual avocado tree.
My bedroom looks onto the garden and occasionally I would see these green, pear shaped objects rocketing to the ground. At first I ignored them, assuming they were some weird urban fruit (I'm not from London). Then I took a closer look and assumed some extravagant Gatsby living above us was showing off his financial prowess by tossing these princely fruits at the proletariat. And then I completely forgot about it.
Since Tim Gurner's 'wise' observation that if all of us youths just stopped gorging on avocado toast for brunch, then we would be able to buy a house (FYI that is roughly 24,499 portions) my relationship with avocados has been particularly tense. Not to mention their extortionate retail price - and the roulette you play with ripeness (nothing worse than a disappointing avocado - I hear ya!)However, after venturing out last week, as the weather teased us with the promise of Spring, I saw my mottled green friends lying listlessly on the paving stones once again, and this time I was determined to complete my avo-quest. The temptation of an avocado mine, glory and riches was too much to ignore.
I broached the subject with my housemates, who didn't seem particularly bothered by my exciting revelation, and seemed slightly concerned for my mental well being. Classic avo-haters. Undeterred by their unbelieving - I decided to turn to the experts.
Enter: Sarah Bray - expert horticulturalist, plant enthusiast and my mother. Your family have to at least to pretend to be interested in your mad capers - so I knew I would get some help here.
I ventured into the garden, found a suspected avo - cut it in half and sent my family Whatsapp group a pic. (I'm convinced if Poirot was real and in his 20s today - he would have done the same thing).
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Needless to say the avocado was extremely hard and having had no confirmation that it actually was an avocado - I wasn't willing to sacrifice my poor stomach ...
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She was very keen for me to eat one - however I still wasn't convinced.
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A number of useful suggestions! Deciding that the plant fans were more likely to be on Twitter than Instagram - I took to the latter platform and got in touch with the Royal Horticultural Society:
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And low and behold! They replied, CONFIRMING that is was in fact an avocado. Miracles do happen!
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So there you have it. I have an avocado tree in my garden. If anyone has suggestions regarding how to ripen the fruit in the harsh, polluted London climate - please let me know. In the meantime I will be sitting in my garden getting smashed on avocado.
But the good news is now I can stop spending all my money on avocado toast and save up for a house instead.
avo and out,
Emily x
